The Trip Home....need I say more??

(Warning........not for the faint of heart! Really only parents would appreciate this!)
Well, we thought we could surely handle driving home during the day. We were too tired from a week's worth of vacation to tackle driving all night. (And I also knew my husband.......he'd take off for work as soon as we rolled in the driveway. I'd be left w/ all the kids with no sleep! I know he'd secretly nap somewhere........then it would be war!) So we woke up Wednesday morning to check out by 10am and start driving......peeing, eating, 'he's touching me!', fighting whining and all!
OR SO WE THOUGHT...........
At about 8:30am I had diarrhea, MeeMee had diarrhea, Max had diarrhea, Ben threw up all night. Well as I was stuck in the bathroom........Elliette came running in holding her mouth. I started screaming......"NO, are you serious??!!" She kept nodding and starting to panic and I said, "Wait..Wait..Wait......let me move!" I moved just in time for an amazing amount of puking! WOW!
I went into the living room and told the rest that Elliette had gotten the virus. My mother in law and sis in law had packed their families. I hadn't even started! I told John that he needed to call the front desk to see about staying another day. I can't imagine trying to drive 9 hours w/ 5 kids pooping & puking in the car! Anyway...........he said it would be fine! Why do I listen??

So, we packed up and no one else was showing signs of puking or pooping and Elliette had basically passed out cold. So we stupidly loaded the car and headed for home. About 45 minutes down the road, Jude started complaining that his stomach hurt (the same thing Elliette did before she started puking!) John kept asking him if he could wait till the next gas station??!! DUH....he's 3yrs old. Anyway, I MADE John pull into an exit and Jude started saying he needed to poop. So I forced John to drive in to the "Tooty Fruity" Inn (John made me change the name of the hotel because we feel so guilty!) and went in to check for a suite. Jude kept saying he needed to poop! So I get him out of the car and hurry him into the hotel lobby bathroom. I tried to smile nicely at the lady at the desk so she wouldn't wonder why I was practically dragging him to the bathroom as fast as I could. John was standing there inquiring about a room acting like he didn't know me! I got Jude in the bathroom and he totally looked like he was going to puke! I kept saying, "Do you need to throw up?" "NO" well, "Do you need to spit?" "NO, I need to poop." So.................

I put him on the toilet when he puked the most amazing puke ever known to man. From 3 1/2 feet down the walls, stall, door and floor were covered! Did I mention from my knees down too??!! Thank goodness for shorts and crocs! I, of course, started screaming stop (like he could?) and AHHHH NOOOOO (like the lady at the desk didn't hear me?!) Then he started saying, "I need to poop!" Soooo, I moved him down to the next stall...........ugh not there, it was clogged up w/ someone's dirty diaper! What are the chances??!! OK to the next stall, sat him there and turned to grab a trash can in case he started puking again! NO TRASH CAN! Sooooo, ok I'll grab paper towels.............no it was that crazy 'wave your hand in front of it kind'!

So, I throw myself onto the vanity and start washing off my legs and crocs (thank goodness their indestructible!) I turned to check on him and he was just sitting there waiting. I said as sweetly as I could (the way moms do when their truly about to have a break down), "I'll be right back honey, it's ok." Off to get John!

I leaned around the corner and so sweetly and calmly, "John, can I see you a minute?" He came toward the bathroom. "We have a little problem" I said. He went in the bathroom. SILENCE!

I started explaining that there were no paper towels, trash can etc. He turned to me as serious as can be, and all he said was, "They have no vacancies and I think we should go out the side door and get a room down the street."

I said, "We can't do that!" He said, "What are you going to do then???" "Ok, I'm outta here!" and I said "You get him, I'm going out the side door!" Off we went around the side of the 'tutty fruity inn' and to the Comfort Inn down the street to sleep off the rest of the day and night. We made it just fine and left for home the next morning without anymore puking or pooping.

All the way home John kept repeating, "This is still the best trip our whole family has ever been on!" Makes you wonder about our other trips huh?!

For so many years I've felt a lot of pressure to paint a 'rosy' picture of large family life. I still do but now I also feel a responsibility to paint a 'real' picture as well. There seem to be so many young mothers out there lately that feel that they just don't 'measure up'. Family isn't easy, little ones aren't easy and large families are a combination of both! However, like my husband said, "It's still the best trip we've been on!"

Oh yeah, the photo is of the storm we went through when we finally started for home. The wind was brutal and we went through "What to do in case of a tornado in the car" drill. John usually makes fun of me but this time he said, "Wow, will you look up and see if there's a funnel over us....this wind is crazy!"



staceyj said...


I found your blog through Kelly Church's. Bless your heart! I hope you guys are all better. Your family is precious.

I also homeschool my kiddos and we are having fun!

Mom of 4 (1 in Heaven)

Pam said...

oh my! I don't think that we have ever been that sick here! I can't imagine it happening like that in an hotel bathroom and then having to leave!! Too funny! yes, definatley something to blog about! Gotta love it! Thanks for being real! Large families are a ball, work, and never a dull moment!


casey said...

ok seriously Dia...I have never laughed this hard at anything in my life!!! Only because I'm a mom and I know the feeling!!! I have forwarded this to a few people who need a good laugh! I'm so glad you're the kind of person who can just laugh about it...I mean really, you can either laugh or cry, you might as well laugh!!!

Marina Presley said...


Shaila told me to read your blog. I think we must have taken the same vacation this year. My son threw up all over me at the Kansas City Royals ball game last Friday. They felt so sorry for me in the First Aid Station that they gave me a new t-shirt to wear home. The good news for us was we cut our trip short by one day. The rest of us got sick after we were home. My deepest sympathy to you. At least it will be a vacation that you won't soon forget.

Jenny said...

Dia, I don't know when I've laughed this hard while sitting at my desk! We've had far too many throwing-up stories to count, but poor Jude's takes the cake. Well, Anna did throw up all over herself as we drove across the Memphis bridge on our way back to Florida from Jonesboro when she was 2. Jon pulled over in a Memphis getto Walgreens, removed her carseat, and wanted to throw it in the dumpster. I convinced him to go buy garbage bags and strap it to the top of the vehicle.....after all, I knew how much I'd paid for that seat, and I'd just clean it up when we got home. Upon arriving at home, I had the same virus. The carseat? It drove off a couple of days later in the back of the garbage truck.